Friday, September 30, 2011

The Facebook Killer: Part 3.

Seven fucking years they kept Albert and I in that bloody asylum. Seven whole fucking years. Can you believe it?  Eighty-four months of listening to Twinkle, twinkle little fucking star. Two thousand, three hundred and fifty five days and nights with nothing to do except taunt our next-door neighbour. Over sixty one thousand hours with nothing to do but sit and think about what we had done and do you know what the worst part was? The day they put that big old iron key into the lock of his cell door. Albert and I had listened in silence. It wasn’t mealtime. It wasn’t evaluation day, that only took place on the last Sunday of each month. We could hear the mechanism turning, the cogs engaging. What was going on? Why were they opening his door? We should have realised earlier, the clues had been there. He was receiving more frequent treatment. His reaction to Albert’s singing had decreased gradually over recent months, the screams and head banging giving way to mere whimpers, then silence and then the worst of all. The laughter. The bastard started laughing when we sang. Fucking laughing. At us! 
That was the day they declared that little bastard Hamid was no longer a danger to himself or others. That was the day the birds stopped singing in the trees, the day our long lost friend returned. The Rage.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be forever. Jesus Christ! We had failed all of those evaluations on purpose just to stay in there, next to him. And then one day they decide to just let the bastard out. Where was the justice in that?
We eventually got a new neighbour but he wasn’t half as much fun. Ronald he was called, Ronald Hughes. He was locked up after trying to commit suicide by lying on a disused railway line for two days. Apparently a woman walking her dog found him, suffering from hypothermia. Now that is one mental bastard.
No, it wasn’t the same when they set Hamid free. It felt like Albert and I were being punished instead. I will never forget that day they let him out, it was a Monday in January, he walked past our cell door and stopped, tapping lightly on the steel. Albert and I put our ears to the cold metal. “Dermott,” he whispered, “It’s been a pleasure, but your daughter was much better company.”

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Well I’m glad those bastards have gone. I’m taking a short break from work on my next book to write this blog. One of the main reasons being that the villa down the road from me has just been sold for a scary sum of money, in fact I would have to sell around one billion books to be able to buy it. The new owner has a team of fifty workers there from six in the morning until dark. The constant noise of chainsaws and Hilti guns is beginning to wear me down.

I received an email this morning, it went like this.
There have been three things that changed the way I look at things in life. Malcolm X, Malcolm Mclaren and ML Stewart.

Call me a liar if you wish, this is a bona fide email from a reader, of whom I am gravely concerned.

FBK1 is now being read by 20,208 people, I figure the maximum download will be around 25,000, if that.

FBK2 is still selling well, 12% (rising by about 1% each day) of readers have bought part 2 and the numbers are still rising; alas not enough to keep it at the #1 spot. Back to #2 but hey, I did it for two days and there is still time to go. At least I can now say ... “by the number 1 selling author of the Facebook Killer.” Like I really care?

FBK1 is still getting some outstanding reviews but also some strange ones. One reader today complained that FBK2 wasn’t on Amazon? Another slagged it off badly, “amateurish and pathetic”, when I checked their other reviews they had sung the praises of some cookery book and also a padlock. A f+cking padlock? Now let me be honest here but someone who buys a padlock on Amazon and then writes a review about is not the sort of reader I want. Jesus Christ! Who invented man?

Regular blog-watchers of mine, and I thank you for your continuing support, the salary checks for this month are in the post, will be aware of my strange ways and the fact that I am a method-writer (get in the mood, become the character) but I neglected to mention the music. What is the arsehole talking about now? I hear you cry. Well put it this way, let us take the now world famous Bridgwater Twins as an example. Could I have written that with a cat sitting on my knee, purring away and a cup of Earl Grey on the desk? With a wife calling from the kitchen, “would you like spaghetti or chips with your tea darling? No f+cking way! You can’t torture and then skin two young boys when Mr. Fluffy is snuggling into your crotch and you can hear Beethoven coming from the kitchen.

Think about it. It’s like Adolf Hitler trying to invade Europe when he’s stoned... “Poland, where? No, fucking leave it alone I used to have a Polish girlfriend, she rolled the best spliffs man.” Get me? When I skinned, tortured, poured salt over them before they died (and believe me it was I that did it, not Dmitri or Kalif, they were only pawns in the game) I was wearing headphones and listening to Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing in the name of”, Dermott Madison was reminiscing about his time with Anna and Laura to the sounds of REM’s “Everybody Hurts”, Marilyn Manson helped me kill Adela in Pakistan with his “Fight Song” and Chumbawamba’s “Tub Thumping” brought the rage back each time.

This is why I receive comments like
well done one of the best books i have read in a long time brilliant brilliant brilliant !!! might have to read again !! please keep them comming x”

“i read part 1 and 2 in no time just could not put it down . kept going back on pages just to let it sink in !!!! ohhh cant wait for your next book never normally right reviews on here but this is an exception you should be very proud of yourself a new author too . congratulations x”
“Must say, though pretty gory in parts and some of it was read with one hand over mouth in shock ;),”

“... thats exactly what i did ,,, hand over the mouth thing .... and a lot of OH MY GOD !!!”

So remember my fellow new authors, you are what you create, live it, breathe it and more importantly feel it. We are making movies where the screen is inside of your reader’s brain. You must immerse yourself in your story, become each character, feel how they feel, if they are drunk then get drunk (but don’t forget to check your spelling and grammar the next day:) If you have a scene where your hero punches someone in the face, then go out and do it, but be careful and don’t get caught (MLS recommends that you enrol in a legal boxing class). You can’t write about something of which you have no knowledge or feeling. I have been stabbed twice and shot once and you know what, you don’t feel it in the slightest, so when I see a movie when someone reacts in the wrong way, it tends to get on my wick. Have you ever been in a car when a gun has gone off? Of course not! You become deaf for days afterwards.

It’s not just about spelling and grammar, although these are important, it’s more about emotion.

OK the neighbour’s men are on a break. Back to work for MLS.

Take care readers and remember the name “Adolf” is not in the spellchecker.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

ML Stewart, Still The Number One Horror / Thriller Writer In The UK.

And you know what the funny thing is? I didn’t intend the FBK to be so gruesome; I just got carried away with myself. It started out as a crime thriller, and then something just took hold of me.

My next Ebook should be ready for release in around two weeks, and no it isn’t FBK3. As a fledgling, experimental and anarchist author, I have to test the market. The next book will be horror / thriller / fantasy / war.  It is set a few years from now, but like the Facebook Killer, deals with very current issues and it is set in the UK.

As of 19:00 Big Ben Time I have a readership of 22,000 people and steadily rising.

Follow on sales of FBK2 from the free edition of FBK1 have risen from 8% to 11% and now stand at 2,050 and rising. I am earning around £60 per day from the royalties. Take off my accountant’s bill and the charges from my offshore accounts and it would make more sense if I telephoned each one of you and personally read you the story, long distance.

Sarah Pearson sent me the comment which was posted on a Daily Mail article about self-publishing. Thanks Sarah, it went like this...

I have been reading kindle books on my pc for about a year now and I must say that many of the "Indie" books are complete tosh, spelling and grammar mistakes abound, but now and again I find some real gems like the Facebook Killer series, it still has mistakes and probably would not pass through an agent but the books like that which are available for free and under £1 make the errors bearable.
- Julia, Cardiff, Wales, 25/9/2011 10:41

ML Stewart says this: (Full of rage) What chance do the rest of us have when these boys who have been to private school together or ex-journalist bum chums can pull a stunt like this?  That article was written by an author who used it as a vehicle to try and punt his own Ebook, shame on the Daily Mail for allowing it. The people he quoted and publicised within said article are probably sitting around a dining table in the Ritz right now, toasting their coup. Well it’s fucking bullshit! These mutherfuckers are trying to control the market but we can’t let it happen. When someone like you or me turn up they try every trick in the book to put us down and regain their crowns. They are old, they are on paper, and they are scared, as are their crumbling agents and prehistoric publishing companies. That’s why they are dipping their toes into the Kindle Pond, in the hope to pay off the pre-recession mortgages on their extravagant (keep up with the Joneses’) apartments.

Rant over but at least we all know where I stand.

Monday, September 26, 2011

ML Stewart #1 Horror - Thriller Writer in The UK.

I am still wallowing in my prestigious position of #1 selling Horror / Thriller writer in the United Kingdom... but hey! Tomorrow I’ll probably be knocked off the top spot. Do I care? Not really, I have the screen shot and I can take that to bed with every night until I die.

It has taken me 12 weeks to become number 1. Why?
Because A) I got lucky and B) The Facebook Killer is a unique story.

OK kids, we are at the halfway point in this experiment, 12 weeks in and what have I learned.

1)      Don’t worry about the money. You may think that because you have spent a year writing your first book you are going to start coining it in. Wrong! Give it away free. Get the readers. Put it out on every available platform, free of charge, but stick it on Kindle for a price. Their bots will find it elsewhere and eventually they will bang it out for free, hopefully attracting 20 – 25,000 downloads. If you can, have your next book ready to publish when this happens.
2)      Before you publish, read the book again and again. Hands up, me and my firm goofed a little bit but we turned that to our advantage. When you proof read your own book, read it out loud, don’t read the story. Read the words, one by one, the speeling and the gremar:) Don’t rely on spell checkers, they suck.
3)      Don’t get big-headed or depressed by the reviews, after the first two or three I stopped reading them anyway and please don’t put on your own bullshit reviews, these can be spotted a mile away.
4)      The world is changing and one day people like me might just fit in.

SBJones wrote: 

Picture links are broken for me. Well done, I don't know what daily numbers you need to hit the overall top 100 list in the UK, and I can't wait till you tell us. All I know is that 5 a day doesn't break 10,000 in the US.

MLS replied: My cover’s better anyway mate and I didn’t cough up £400 for it. FBK2 is selling about 150 a day that keeps me around #40 in the UK Bestsellers, around #19 in the Thrillers and, of course, #1 in the Horror / Thrillers.

Kate Aaron wrote:

I'll say it for you:


well done!

MLS replied: Thanks for your support Kate. When I eventually kick Stephen King’s arse, you can be my bride’s maid.

 ...There was an article about e-publishing in the Sunday mail and someone said nice things about your books in the comments, so there's that :-)

MLS replied:
Thanks for that Sarah, I tried to get onto it but my satellite connection gets jammed up, too many megabytes to download.

Here is a blast from the past, from when I first started this experiment... (12 weeks ago)

ML Stewart wrote: Thanks Stephen, as a major international and highly acclaimed author, I appreciate you visiting my blog. If you are the great blue whale, I am the minnow's poop-shoot and I hope to kick your arse one day! No offence, you understand?"
Stephen Leather replied: Ha ha. But it's a common mistake, to assume that kicking another writer's arse helps you. It doesn't. Your aim has to be to produce quality work and to sell it to as many people as possible. It's like running a marathon, (this should actually be a semi colon not a comma by the way, MLS) it's your personal time that counts not what the runners around you are doing. I've lost count of the number of Indie writers who've said that they have me in their sights and their aim is to sell more than me. They come and they go and good luck to them.

When I started down my eBook route I wasn't interested in how many books other writers sell, or who were above me in the bestseller lists. That doesn't matter. All that matters is how good my books are and how many I sell. But hey, if you wanna kick my arse, you go for it.....

ML Stewart replied: Oops looks like I just did!

Regards all and remember, “don’t take it personally.”
ML Stewart

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Need I Say Any More?


o                      #1 in Books > Fiction > Horror > Thrillers
o                      #1 in Kindle Store > Books > Fiction > Horror
o                      #19 in Books > Crime, Thrillers & Mystery > Thrillers


ML Stewart (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars Available for download now


Once Bitten (A thriller with bite)
Once Bitten (A thriller with bite)
Stephen Leather (Author)

I Know You Are All Dying To Know...

... So let’s talk about the money. How much does a successful author, such as I myself, harvest from these book sales. Bearing in my mind that over the last three weeks my readership has gone from a handful to a large town (or small city if you live in Eastern Russia) Well here is the shocking truth...












Admittedly since the free promotion of FBK1 I have, to date, earned a further £480. So all in all about £500. I owe my accountant £640. Therefore after 3 months hard work (not to mention all of the time taken to actually write the books) I am minus £140. It’s not all glamour and red carpets after all.

I have said this before and I will repeat it again, I’m not in this for the fortune or the fame. Jesus if they asked me to appear on Breakfast TV I would have to wear a balaclava.

As of 5:00 Big Ben Time, the readership is creeping up to 21,000. FBK2 has gone back up to #17 in the UK Thrillers list ( which means it stays on the first page) and is #39 Best Seller in the UK. It just proves, the devil makes work of idle hands.

Now, this is where it begins to get interesting. I am stuck in the thrillers list between several renowned authors, I feel like the mouldy cheese in middle of the Queen’s sandwich, asides that, I predict that the negative reviews will start to pile up now. It’s already happened in fact, the FBK characters were called pathetic, the spelling atrocious blah blah, this review came from the same person that licked the arse of the author one rank above me, in fact both of her books. I smell professional assassins and believe me if anyone knows about them, it’s me. Now I would never threaten anyone with my contacts, shit they even scare me, but let’s play this fair and square before things get nasty. The aforementioned reviewer also tried to pull me down by stating that I made a good attempt to get friends and family to write the 4 and 5 star reviews. If this idiot actually checked my blog or bio he would realise that the only family I have left is in solitary confinement and the only things my “friends” would know to do with a Kindle is steal a truck-load of them. So come on boys and girls out their in Jealousy Land. I’m the underdog here, Christ I slag myself off enough without you jumping on the bandwagon, so play the game, fair and square.

ML Stewart
Licensed holder of an AK-47 machine gun.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I Can’t Think Of A Title For Today’s Blog...

...So we’ll just get stuck into it. A milestone has been reached, on Tuesday the readership of ML Stewart books was 14,487, today at 14:00 Big Ben Time it stands at 20,006. At this rate I only need to sell or giveaway 5,333 books each day between now and when Santa Clause pops his fat arse down the chimney to succeed in my experiment. In the last two days, sales of The Facebook Killer 2 have jumped to almost 300 per day. I put it down to what I call the Kindle Sponge Effect. 17,700 people have FBK1 on their kindles as well as another 50 or more free Ebooks, by the time they get around to reading it they will then hopefully buy Part 2. This could go on for weeks, months or it might stop tomorrow. By my reckoning only 8% of people who have FBK1 have bought FBK2, but with sales steadily rising and FBK3 The Xmas Special due out in seventeen years, I have a very, very, miniscule chance of completing my challenge by Xmas 2028.

My accountant is really starting to get on my tits. He sent me an email yesterday about my chosen profession as an author. It was littered with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors so I gave it a 1-star review, anyway I digress. It went something along these lines. “Dear Mr Stewart, I am writing to you regarding your outstanding bill with Robin, Bastard & Proud. I am afraid to inform you that the current revenue generated from your “books” will barely cover our telephone calls on the subject, never mind our services. Therefore we have issued a court order to have your computers seized and a Section 7 mental evaluation to determine whether or not you are fit to live alone.” The worst of it was, that sneaky little bastard went and bought Rooney the cactus from under my nose, so now there’s going to be a custody battle on top of everything else. Anyway, moving along...

You know you’ve F**ked Up when you receive an email like this one. wrote: Dear Mr. Stewart, I really feel like I have to write to you about this. I have just read your book the Facebook Killer on my kindle. I admit it was an excellent read but something that stuck in my throat was the execution of the twin boys. I was moved to tears and felt more than a little ill. The reason for this is that I have two twin girls and our surname is Bridgewater too. Is there anyway you can change the surnames in the book? I know it sounds silly but I just cant stop thinking about it.

Thanks. Mary Bridgewater.

ML Stewart said: Oops! It’s a little too late for that Mary, my dear. Perhaps you can change your surname instead.

Well you know what they say “You can’t kill all of the people all of the time.”

Christ, what did we do before computers came along? Imagine the women would still be making “Home Sweet Home” needlework samplers whilst their sons practiced the harpsichord. “Pass the snuff darling.”

I have to go now, I have murder on my mind.

ML Stewart

 Stefania wrote: Hi there ML Stewart. Is there a chance I can contact you private?

As long as you're not a Russian man pretending to be a beautiful mail order bride then you can contact me on the above address.

Friday, September 23, 2011

If The Kindle Is To The Book What The Combustion Engine Was To The Horse...

Then where do we go from here? Am I in a philosophical mood today? No. I just couldn’t think of anything better to say. Now, did I just say that? Or did I write it? Or did you just think that I said it because you read it?

For those regular blog-readers (or is that listeners?) you will remember that I purposely caused an online outrage when I was rude about someone’s comments regarding my unique use of grammar. A stunt, which boosted viewers of this site and readership of my books tremendously, I hasten to add. The point of my argument was that many self-published Ebooks contain spelling and grammatical errors (not everyone is perfect nor can everyone afford the cost of an editor) I stated that you can see past these errors and that as long as you know what the author means it shouldn’t necessarily affect your enjoyment of the book. I used the example of TXT SPCH. I have included a further, far more dramatic example below, one, which, many of you may have seen before.

I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.

After the initial anger subsided over my bollocking of an obviously well educated author, some people understood my point while others called me a moronic asshole. A term I felt quite at home with. This online debate has now developed into an interesting discussion regarding Audio books. Is listening to a book the same as reading it? Which brings me full circle to today’s headline. We now have software to make our own audio books, will this eventually supersede the kindle, Ipad etc. Imagine you can go jogging and still be reading / listening. You can “read” chapter 10 whilst driving the kids to school. In short, one day will we all stop reading and just start listening? Who knows and more importantly... Who gives a f*ck?

For some strange reason FBK1 and 2 made a dramatic leap in sales overnight, but not big enough to take the #1 spot from that highly acclaimed and far more successful author than myself, Mr. Stephen Leather. I put this jump in sales down to someone either being drunk and hitting the wrong button or some cunning hacker, locked away in a dark shed in Ohio somewhere trying to single-handedly bring down by distributing my book to unsuspecting readers via a virus in the hope that they will never want to read a Kindle book ever again.

For my faithful followers I have posted a sneak preview of FBK3 at the end of today’s blog.

My accountant called me today with the financial status of my book sales, when he finally calmed down and stopped laughing; he suggested that I ask for the deposit back for Rooney the cactus.

The dictionary, which I bought online, eventually arrived this morning, it’s going to prove very useful for my future writing, there is a picture next to each word, the cat is especially well drawn.

Before I go I would just like to quickly remind the newer readers about the reason this blog was started. If I can sell, giveaway or force down someone’s throat half a million of my Ebooks by Christmas, then I will donate all of the proceeds from my first book written in 2012 to charity, but believe me it won’t be the Apostrophe Society. If anyone can help me out by including links on their own blog or Facebook etc. we will see if we can achieve this together.

SB Jones said: 100 sales a day is nothing to sneeze at. I have posted on other blogs and forums about the price of a free book and what it can do to all the others you have as well. I think it is one of the most powerful tools a self published author has. However it works better with each title you have. If its your first and only book. It might get downloaded 100,000 times but you see $0 for it. Add 5 other titles and the free one generates 500 other sales across the line.

Think if you had FBK 2, 3, 4 and a Christmas special available when FBK1 went free?

ML Stewart replied: Hi again SBJ you are very right, FBK1 going out for free was my leg up, however I didn't want to complete FBK2 until I got some feedback. If part 1 had bombed then I would have wasted so much time writing the follow ups.

ML Stewart

As promised.....the sneak preview.

                            The Facebook Killer: Part 3

ML Stewart.

Well? What do you think?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Rooney Is Within My Grasp...

That title is to force the lazy ones to read previous blogs to find out what the hell I'm talking about. It serves no other purpose....moving along.

And don't tell me 350 bits of paper and a cover. I mean what makes a good read? Does anyone know the answer, of course not! I was reading through some of the reviews for FBK1 yesterday. It's amazing, they range from 1* right across the spectrum to 5*. Some of the writers of my best reviews use worse spelling and grammar than I do. One of them actually calls it grammer, but I love them all the same. It just interests me on a sociogical front that one person can call your method (or style) of writing brilliant yet someone else feels that it's immature. The latter being an anonymous comment ... of course. Now don't get me wrong, one man's meat and all that, reviews don't bother me, they help us learn or adapt, but they aren't exactly suicide material, are they now?
Sticking to the topic for a moment. I broke one of my golden rules yesterday, I sent the butler out to by me a book. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about this reading lark. I told him to get me a Stieg Laaaaaarrrrrssson book, it didn't matter which one, "ask the bookseller which they prefer and make sure it's in English" I told him. So he comes back with a book about the size of the bloody Bible, hardback with a picture of a woman wearing a black crash helmet on her head. Now I don't wish to speak ill of the dead (and I'm not talking about the blokes that wrote the Bible here) but I sat up until 5:00am reading that book and I only got to page 240. And you know what (If you are a fan please do not read the comments in red)   I thought it was crap.
There are about 300 different characters in it with names like Freugenhassellenwurkeburg and when this woman, Salamander goes to buy furniture for her house, my God! it's like..."she chose a desk, the one with the beech veneer and three drawers down either side which measure 20 x 30 x 80, the ones with the chrome handles that look similar to the ones you would find on a 1964 Alpha Romeo Spyder........" you get my drift. I gave up.
My point being? You probably think that I have no right to slag off a book by one of the world's most renowned and biggest selling authors, but I do. We all have the right to our opinions (and you know what they say about opinions?) For every million people that love and worship Stieg Llllllaaaaaaarrrrrson's books there will be one "me" that thought it sucked balls. For Christ's sake, I'm struggling to pay for a cactus, he could probably have bought the entire Nevada Desert by now (feel free to correct me if they don't have cactuses, sorry cacti, in Nevada, but you can see where I'm coming from.) Maybe he used to write the Ikea furniture catalogues?

FBK1 is still being downloaded by around 1,000 UK citizens per day. In offices, prisons and in long queues with nothing else to do. At 3:30pm Big Ben Time, it stands at 14,429. (since 1st September)
FBK2 is being bought by around 100 readers each day. It is #19 in the UK Thriller charts and around #45 in the Top 100.
SC remains in the Amazon Top Million.

I have decided, against my better judgement, to write a FBK Christmas Special. Now, and I know this is warped, but the thought crossed my dark mind to make a kid's horror book, so that they can discuss Mr. Madison's behaviour with mummy and daddy but then I thought of the backlash and the ultimate ban from publishing on Kindle ever again. It would be fun though, "Mummy what does it mean when someone connects your genitals to a high voltage generator? " I'm busy son, go and ask your Father."

I also contemplated writing a short story on the exhorbitant price of cacti, or maybe I could write a non-fiction / educational book, "How not to make money on Kindle."

I received an unusual email through my new email address

Dear Mr. Stewart.
I have been reading your Blog for some weeks now and I think you are an asshole.

ML Stewart replied: If that's Uncle Nigel can I have that £200 back that I lent you last Xmas.

Anyway, enough drivel for one day.
Just remember kids, it doesn't matter what you're doing, never give up! Unless it's crack cocaine of course, but Daddy will explain that to you.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

13,000 Kindles In The UK?

... I wonder how many of those are stolen?

I have a new email address: If anyone wants to email me please feel free to do so,  I'll tell you why. I spent some time yesterday browsing through some other authors' blogs and to be perfectly honest, between you and I, most of them are pretty f**king boring. Banging on and on about... "my latest book has been #10 in the New York Times Bestseller list for the past 98 days, 3 hours and 12 seconds." Some of them are more pompous than others, but I couldn't find one that actually tried to have a laugh like a real person. I assume most of my regular blog-watchers realise that I am a very tongue-in-cheek kind of psychopath.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm never going to make a lot of money from my books, but that doesn't matter. One thing I am bloody sure about is that if I am going to be glued to a computer screen for hours every day writing stories, I am not going to spend my spare time taking myself too seriously. Even if I only have 500 people to read each of my books, a loyal band of sickos, then I'll be happy. That is the reason for the new email address, so that you don't have to go via Marco my "mailman" anymore. It's a direct line but the IP address is re-routed so if you work for Interpol, don't get too excited.

I think my accountant is taking the piss, I went to the garden centre yesterday to choose my cactus, the owner just laughed when I told him how much I had to spend. "Piss off," I told him, "Do you know how much you earn selling a book on Kindle?" I asked. After much negotiation, I manged to leave a cash deposit on the smallest cactus he had. It is a little shrivelled but he says that he'll water it for the next three months until I can afford to pay the balance. I've named it Rooney.

So what am I working on now? I hear you all cry with eager antici.........pation. (Apart from my spelling and grammar skills?) Well, I have begun to write a book which I planned a few years ago. It is something I feel passionately about, I'm not going to give you any ideas in case someone else steals the idea. It's set a few years from now in Britain. The working title is UKI. I have completed the first two chapters and I'm hammering away every day now. I am quite caught up in it (Oh Oh more grammar mistakes) If you liked FBK then I hope you will like this. It is a totally different story, I know I will probably be criticised for not sticking to a specific genre but I am the President of the Anarchist Authors Association (or I will be when it's formed). Don't worry gore fans, I will include some especially for you.

One reason that I writing UKI is because the scenario will happen one day, as will FBK. There will, undoubtedly one day be a real-life Dermott Madison. The Sunday Club, also, a robbery which we planned but never took place. The most ingenious robbery that anyone would dare to carry out. I want 50% by the way if anyone gets away with it.

Anyway, your bosses don't pay you to surf the internet. Get back to work, it's people like you that have made the economy what it is.

ML Stewart 


Let's be brief about distribution. (These figures are from the last six weeks of this insane experiment and include a vast amount of free books)

FBK 1:  13,281
FBK 2:  582
SC: 82

FBK 1: 490
FBK 2: 3 (only went live last night)
SC: 49

Only another 485,513 to reach my goal.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery...

...but in this case, I am a little less than flattered. I suppose I ought to feel proud that I have my very own stalker, a thing I had always associated with the rich and famous, the Beckhams and Pitts of this world. To me, this is indicative of our decline in social standards and moral values, when someone decides to stalk someone on a rung of the ladder as low as myself. What am I talking about? Well, my Chief Of Internet Security has brought to my attention the fact that someone, somewhere, has posted a comment or two on certain forums, signing themselves ML Stewart. Now let’s get this straight. If I wish my reputation to be sullied any further than it already is, I am quite capable of doing so myself, I don’t need anyone else’s help. So, please, STOP! Or you will be found and the boys will drastically reduce the length of your fingers. The only blog that I write, or comment on, is this one, so if anyone spots comments on another author’s blog or a forum not related to Ebooks, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I may behave in a rather strange manner but I know when to draw the line.

That aside, FBK 2 has made it into the Amazon Top 100, earlier today it was placed at #54. It is still sitting in the #2 spot for Thrillers and Horrors. I will update distribution levels in my next blog.

Julie Wrote: Hi there
I,ve just finished reading The Facebook Killer books and just wanted to say I thought they were brilliant, I couldnt put them down!  My daughter thinks these have been made into a film, I,ve had a look on google but cant find it, is there a film version out? and is there going to be a part 3?? :-)
Many thanks for a great read

I have received three emails regarding the film version of “The Facebook Killer”, mentioned at the end of the book. Unfortunately this is fictional, for now. As for the questions regarding a Part 3 of FBK, I know, commercially, it is a good move, but I think I will leave it there. After all, who ever talks about Jaws 2?

Today I have sent one lonely copy of FBK off to an unsuspecting agent in London. I have decided to try the approach of making them feel special, whether it will work or not remains to be seen.

The Sunday Club, my first book, remains in the Amazon Top Million and sales are picking up a little in the UK. It received its first 4½ star review and guess what, it contains some grammatical errors, no surprise there then. So starting tomorrow, amongst everything else going on in my insane life, I must proof read it again, besides that I am going to buy a primary school book on grammar and possibly splash out on a dictionary while I’m at it. 

I had a meeting on Saturday with my accountant and he informs me that with my earnings from Kindle so far, I can afford to buy a new pair of curtains for one of the bedrooms and a pot plant, he suggest a small cactus would be appropriate. I was heartened to hear him say that if sales remain at this level, by Christmas I will be able to afford a table cloth and then, hopefully by Easter, a table to place underneath it. I am just flushed with excitement; the decision of what to spend all of my earnings on is indeed a tricky one.

Gary wrote: "The one thing that separates me from any of you boys out there is this...I DO NOT READ. I don't read other people's books, I don't watch movies, I don't speak to anyone."

Now, if you would just stop using the computer or the internet the world would be a better place.

ML Stewart replied: That’s funny, I like it, it’s the sort of thing that I would say. My quote about not reading seems to be have been misunderstood by some parties. It doesn’t mean that I can’t read. I just don’t want to read other people’s books. I don’t want any outside influence, so that in a year or so, someone can say “He stole that idea from such and such,” what I might do is steal someone’s use of correct grammar, that’s not a crime.

Anyway, enough drivel for one day, back to work.

Thanks for looking by,

ML Stewart,
P.S.  I hate cacti.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


I notice that within the past few hours the Right Honourable leader of the UK Kindle rankings for Thrillers and Horror has lowered the price of his book to 71p. After much ado, I worked out how to do this and within 24 hours or so FBK2 will be price matched. I am currently #2. GAME ON! At this point I must point out that I cannot cheat because 1) I do not have a credit card and 2) I cannot purchase ebooks via Kindle UK as I am resident outside of the country.

This price change comes only two days after my declaration of war. This will be a fair fight on my behalf. May the best man win!

My only regret is that if I manage to reach the #1 spot, you guys won't hear the end of it for some time :)


Still Twiddling My Thumbs... Kindle UK Has Entered A Mini Ice Age

Kindle UK sales results are still frozen, since yesterday. So not much to report. FBK2 is creeping towards the Top #100 sellers at number #131. If I can make it to #100 just for a day then I will be happy.

For those of you that have read FBK1, there was an article in the Daily Mail today which talked about the "sunken" rivers beneath London, which featured in the book as we kidnapped Adrian Devoy, here is the link if you are interested The Hidden River Fleet.

For the  reader who condemned the book as being too gruesome, there was a further headline in the paper, although I shall not include the link, which read... "Two Youths Arrested After Torturing A Boy By Putting His Penis In A Pair Of Red Hot Hair Straighteners." Now tell me that my fiction is too gruesome! This is real life children and getting worse each year.

I have started work on my next book, which will take some time, so during my breaks I am writing a series of short stories. These are modern day British crime stories. I am endeavouring to write one every two days. I hope to have them online, proof read and bereft of grammatical errors within three weeks. Don't worry, they will be cheap.

As soon as Kindle's sales results have defrosted, I will let you know.

As always, best regards and thank you for your continuing support,

ML Stewart.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Kindle's Sales Reports Have Been Frozen All Day...

  .... so what can we talk about now?

I expected Mr. Leather (one of Britain's greatest and bestselling authors) to post a comment today, regarding my challenge, but nothing.   

As the title states, I can't inform you about the progress of my experiment.

Shit! What do we do now?

You can take a look at this link, it's regarding FBK2  let the mouse do the work  it's better than just sitting here twiddling our bloody thumbs, but at least I get a night off.

See you tomorrow comrades.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

My God! I Have Created A Monster.

OK let's make this quick.

Facebook Killer #1 is still top of the free Kindle Uk charts. Downloads approximately 1,000 per day.
Facebook Killer #2 is
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #131 Paid in Kindle Store
 #2in Books > Fiction > Horror > Thrillers

FBK2 is number 2 in Thrillers and Horror and who stands in my way of the number 1 spot? You guessed it, the author that wrote on this blog only a couple of months ago, "Many have tried and failed to kick my arse." One of the Uk's greatest authors Mr. Stephen Leather. Keep your doors locked and windows sealed Leather, but seriously I have total respect for Mr. Leather I just wish he would allow me the number 1 spot for five minutes so that I can print it out and send it to my Aunt Doris, it would make her day. She would eventually think that I had made something of myself.

In an attempt to beat Mr. Leather I even lowered my price of FBK2, I was charging £1:14 and he is charging 99p. Yet Kindle only lowered the US price and not the UK. What chance do I have? This is turning into a David & Goliath battle.

I will be the first to admit that when FBK1 is removed from the free bargain bin my overall sales are likely to plummet. But at least they allowed me to build up my readership of which I am grateful. Today I was invited and subsequently joined the UK Amazon Kindle forum, it is not like my blog, it is civilized and for serious authors/readers only but well worth a look if you are truly interested in literature, Ebooks and serious discussion.

Total readership as of today: nearly 13,000. I have 14 weeks to go and need to distribute at least 5,000 books per day. Game on!

An interesting email, which I received today.

Dear Mr. Stewart,
    I hope this email finds you well. I preferred to message you personally but please feel free to share my opinions if you feel it is warranted.
    I have been following your Blog spot for some considerable time now. I have partaken of your three pieces of work available on Amazon, all of which I must say I enjoyed immensely. However, something just does not sit right with me. It has taken several days to come to the following conclusion and I hasten to add that I mean no offence by what I am about suggest. 
    I am, myself, a published author, in the more traditional sense than yourself and I found it a little difficult to believe that this is, as you claim, your first attempt at writing. The storylines are oustandingly powerful for an amateur and the voice, vocabulary, narrative and dialogue appear much too professional. This is where my doubts crept in. One of your reviews on Amazon stated that your grammatical errors were indeed "Schoolboyish". Which I must agree with, they are. I firmly believe that you have committed these errors on purpose to stimulate a reaction and therefore debate.
    The brand of M.L. Stewart is, for certain, a formidable one and I take my hat off to you for that, but! Please do not take this in the wrong way, I believe that you are a successfully published author who is moving into a new genre using this pen name. Whether it be due to legal ties within an existing contract? I don't know but I believe that you are XXXXXXXXXX   XXXXXXXX. with whom I played golf last year in Scotland. If I am indeed correct I shall mention the matter no more, if by chance I am mistaken then I can only say bravo to you Sir and I expect you to be President of The Anarchist Authors Association by this time next year.
Kindest regards

ML Stewart replied: I only know one thing to do with a golf club and that isn't to hit a ball.

Goodnight my friends,

Oh and by the way Mr. Leather. BRING IT ON!